Learning to listen Before the Diagnosis

Long before we had an official diagnosis, I was already searching for answers.

There was something in my son’s silence that felt louder than words. I couldn’t wait passively. I needed to understand what was happening beneath the surface.

So I did what any desperate, determined mother would do I started educating myself. I signed up for online seminars. I devoured articles. I spent hours watching videos on speech delay.

Over and over again, one phrase kept popping up: “Differences Between Speech Delay and Autism.”

That phrase opened a door in my mind and my heart.

I wasn’t ready to say the word autism out loud. But deep down, I was already seeing the signs. These seminars led me to YouTube channels where families shared their daily realities. And their vulnerability became my anchor. I watched. I listened. I compared behaviors. I absorbed their stories.

And in their children, I saw my son. In their journey, I saw our path beginning to take shape.

Hand flapping. Lack of eye contact. Spinning, lining up toys, preferring solitude over group play.

It was never about labeling my child. It was about seeing him, really seeing him. I wanted to build a bridge between us. A language. A connection beyond words.

At the time, I didn’t fully understand autism. But I knew one thing: I had to meet my son where he was.

I began listening not just with my ears but with my entire soul.

This is what we do as mothers. This is where our real work starts. And often, it begins long before any doctor gives it a name.

Even as a first-time mom, I knew something wasn’t quite right. Watching other children hit milestones my son hadn’t even approached was heartbreaking. Denial was never going to serve him or me.

So here’s what I say now: if you’re still waiting for a diagnosis, start your research anyway. Learn everything you can. That way, when the evaluation comes, it won’t be a punch in the gut. It’ll be something you’ve already emotionally prepared for.

During our evaluation, there was a questionnaire for me to complete and a parent interview with the psychologist. Because I had done my research, I could use their language. I could describe my son in the terms they understood. And they confirmed how well-informed I was.

More than that it showed how deeply invested I was in my child’s well-being.

This is NeuroTender.